by Micah Hart
It’s Friday, which means it’s time for another edition of the hugely popular series “Can he ball?”. Last week we discussed boy wonder and laser tag competitor Justin Bieber, who you decided (65%-35%) can in fact NOT ball, despite I’d say compelling evidence to the contrary. Maybe its jealousy.
This week, our contestant is another famous face — and famous torso:
One of the latest in a line of famous-for-being-famous celebrities, Mike “The Situation” from MTV’s The Jersey Shore is all over the landscape right now. The Jersey Shore. Dancing With The Stars. Pretty much every talk show on the planet. If Andy Warhol said everyone gets 15 minutes of fame, I’d say he’s at approximately 13:30 and counting.
But, that’s neither here nor there. The issue at hand today is whether The Situation has had time between ab workouts to learn to handle the rock. Let’s look at some of the evidence.
– His real name is Mike Sorrentino, but he goes by The Situation. In addition, he has a nickname for his nickname, as he also calls himself “Sitch”. Hmmm. A guy with multiple nicknames — sounds like an NBA player to me.
– According to ever-truthful Wikipedia, the Situation went to Manalapan High School in Manapalan, New Jersey. The school is known for it’s rigorous Science and Engineering track, and it’s big athletic claim to fame is that it won a New Jersey HS bowling title in 2005-06 (Really? Bowling?). If that’s the highlight of your athletic resume, I’m guessing men’s hoops hasn’t been cutting down any nets recently. What does this mean about Mike? I have no idea. But if he could play, I’d think it wouldn’t be that hard to get on the school’s team.
– He may never play in the NBA, but apparently he has contacts. The NY Post reported yesterday that Mavs owner Mark Cuban was spotted dining with Sorrentino at a restaurant in New York’s meatpacking district. I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
– In the only known competition between him and a basketball player, The Situation went up against former Lakers star (and current NBA TV contributor) Rick Fox on the current season of Dancing with the Stars. Fox is still alive, while Sitch got got last week. Advantage, America.
Alright, I think we’ve addressed the situation sufficiently, it’s time to put it to a vote.
What say you?