by Micah Hart
I enjoyed many, many things about the Olympic games this year, but the U.S.-Spain gold medal basketball game was by far my favorite individual event. As a hoops fan, there is nothing better than getting to see the best basketball players in the world playing on the same court, and, unlike during an All-Star Game, actually playing as hard as they can. It’s a thing of beauty, and I give a lot of credit to the Spanish team for bringing out the best in the U.S. side.
Ultimately though, I was left unsatisfied. Why? Because for all their hard work and determination, the members of Team USA leave London with only one gold medal. Why does basketball only give out one medal, when swimming and diving give out 1,432*?
* I may be off by one or two.
If there is one thing that these Olympics have taught me, it’s that there is absolutely no rhyme or reason as to why certain events are included and others are excluded — I’m looking at you, equestrian and modern pentathlon. It’s mostly just because it’s always been that way and people love tradition.
It’s time for some new traditions. Basketball needs to get with the Olympic program and expand its repertoire of medal events. If Michael Phelps can win eight golds in a single games, so should LeBron James.
Here are my suggestions for basketball expansion for Rio 2016 and beyond, as well as gold medal favorites for each:
1. The long dunk. Simple premise – combination of the long jump and a dunk contest. The athlete who dunks from furthest away wins the gold. Haven’t you always wanted to see if someone could dunk from the 3-point line? Here’s your chance to find out. Gold medal favorite: Rudy Gay, or maybe Corey Brewer
2. The high dunk. Like the high jump, you raise the goal after each attempt. Gold medal favorite: JaVale McGee
3. Pop-a-shot. The Olympics features tennis and table tennis, so this event would fit right in. Gold medal favorite: Ricardo the bus boy
4. Marathon basketball. Combination of basketball talent and endurance, it’s a game of hoops where the goals are 1500m apart. First to 3 wins? Gold medal favorite: Kenya, I assume, or Nate Robinson, that guy has a ton of energy.
5. Synchronized dribbling. I’m picturing something along the lines of the Nike Freestyle commercial from back in the day. Plus you’d get to add judges into the mix, and what sport isn’t better when judges are involved? Gold medal favorites: Kyrie Irving and coming-out-of-retirement-for-one-last-shot-at-glory Allen Iverson.
6. Trampoline Dunk. Long a staple of halftime and timeout performances at arenas around the word, you could see some aerial acrobatics here. Plus there could be individual and team events as well. Gold medal favorite: Russell Westbrook
7. Basketball biathlon. It wouldn’t be the Olympics without some iteration that makes absolutely no sense, and since this is my list, I’m making this a combination of Knockout and Tetherball. Gold medal favorite: ME.
What other basketball related events would you add to the Olympic rotation?
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This is the dumbest thing ive ever read, not only is this disrespecting olympic basketball but its also disrespecting the Olympics in general.
I think you missed the sarcasm/ tongue-in-cheek nature of the article.
I thought it was quite funny!
me 2
Dumb dumb dumb, this is just disrespecting Olympic basketball in general, your such an idiot.
Wow. If you guys can’t tell that this is a joke then you need to review who’s dumb here. Lebron James would win the Long Dunk for sure. At least he would be allowed to travel.
Common, this is not serious. Surely, you can’t compare and any of these suggestions makes sense but just to think it out is fun. I loved the tennis/table tennis vs. basketball/pop-a-shot comparison. And surely, Micah had a beer or two before, didn’t you?
you’re just haters
I think its a pretty good idea
One on one or two on two. It would be amazing to see individual players go up against each other.
you are an absolute fool, why do you even bother writing?
3 medals are given out idiot, and this is ridiculous, I mean marathon bball
Basketball is best game that i have ever played..whatever the comment are given previous really dumb based theory.
LOL! just LOL!
This is probably the dumbest thing I have ever read. There is a reason the gold medal game was played at 10 am and not in prime time.
medals for good old 3pts n dunk contest will do
The person that worte this is joking right?
I found the article very funny and original. People need to relax and have fun sometimes. And between all the jokes i also agree on the unfairness of basketball players not being able to get more than one medal like some others.
I also want more basketball on the olympics. Quantity and quality.
This is both a stupid and offensive article. I love the NBA, but over here (in the UK) there is more debate about whether Basketball should be an Olympic sport than almost any other sport. Very few countries play to any level and the US (both men and women) are so much better than everyone else (not trying to take credit away from Spain, but just look at the benches) it becomes pointless. At least in individual events if one country dominates then the athletes from that country generate competition.
i’m from the UK too, and this debate doesn’t exist, you just made it up. If anything the olympics proved how the standard of basketball around the world has vastly improved. Up untill the final 4 minutes of the gold medal game, spain had the US on the ropes. and all the previous games against argentina should make the US feel a little concerned that 11 all stars were pushed to the limit against a team with only 3 nba players.
L O L
Really people?! You can’t even smell satire when it’s rubbed (and shoved) into your nose?
I think he did a good job writing this, certainly made me laugh
a olympic 3 pt contest, dunk contest, and skills challenge would be awesome. I can guarantee it would be better than the nba all-star version.