Sad Trombone

Last night in a … sad trombone

by Micah Hart

This is usually Kevin’s territory, but with the Cavaliers breaking the NBA record for futility last night with their 25th straight loss, it seems only fitting to play the infamous ditty in their honor:

Hang in there Cleveland – only 30 games left to go.

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Sad Trombone of the Week

by Kevin McCormack

Ask not what the Trombone can do for you, ask what you can do for the Trombone!

And with that in mind, this week’s pick for the Sad Trombone of the Week was our easiest yet. JaVale McGee, for service rendered unto dunk mishap history, the Trombone sings for thee:

Can someone on the Interweb please get us an auto-tuned remix of “That’s what happens when you hot dog!” This needs to happen. DJ Steve Porter, hook us up.

h / t SI.com

Sad Trombone of the Week

by Kevin McCormack

This week’s call of the trombone is pretty easy. Sad. But easy. Citizens of Cleveland, this trombone sounds for you:

Cavs fans were impressively in full roar when the game tipped. Kenny and Charles on TNT even alluded to it feeling like Game 7 of the Finals inside The Q. But the layup line was the highlight of the evening for Cleveland because it went downhill fast. I’ll let Michael Rosenberg of SI.com tee it up:

This was all wrong. And yet, it was completely right. This was a Cleveland sports night — the whole exquisitely miserable experience wrapped up in one cold and unfulfilling evening. It began with an electric, playoff-like atmosphere and ended with the Heat drilling the Cavs. The final was 118-90, but it wasn’t even that close. The Cavs scored garbage-time points against Eddie House, Erick Dampier and three of LeBron’s accountants. (He got them roster spots because hey, they’re his friends!)

Ooof. Mr. Trombone, encore please:

Sad Trombone Of The Week

by Kevin McCormack

This is a sad, Sad Trombone of the Week, as we have to award it to Greg Oden of the Portland Trail Blazers. On Wednesday the Blazers announced that Oden would miss the rest of the season because of microfracture surgery on his left knee (not to be confused with the microfracture surgery he’s already had performed on his right knee), meaning that the big fella will now have missed three of the last four years because of major knee surgeries. Not good.

The injury news brought with it a chorus of the dreaded “B-words,” which now seem inextricably linked to Oden’s name  (Bust & Bowie, Sam). It’s unfair to Oden that he’s forever going to be compared to Kevin Durant, but them’s the breaks. And by being drafted by the team that famously passed on Michael Jordan, the historical hurdles that Oden will have to overcome in Rip City are immense.

We wish Oden well once again on his rehab — he’s always seemed like a kind-hearted, goofy kid at his core.

So the trombone sounds for you Mr. Oden. Take it home with some fantastically awful ‘N Sync karaoke:

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Sad Trombone Of The Week

by Kevin McCormack

In the spirit of elections, this week’s vote for the Sad Trombone of the Week is too close to call so we decided to open it up for a vote. Your nominees:  (And in case you need a refresher on what the STOTW is all about, click here.)

1) NBA poster legend Shawn Bradley, who managed to lose his bid for the Utah state legislature running under the Republican banner on a night when the GOP swept statehouses across the country. How does a Republican lose in Utah?

2) Madison Square Garden. Yes, beloved old Spike-Lee-sitting-courtside-at-The-World’s-Most-Famous-Arena Madison Square Garden. But asbestos debris? Really? C’mon MSG!

3) Squatch the mascot. Read this. Not sure whether to applaud the man or shed a tear. Either way, it’s awesome.

So who gets to hear the dulcet sounds of the trombone? Vote early, vote often.

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Sad Trombone Of The Week

by Kevin McCormack

Feeling blue? Life got you down? If so, there’s no better link than www.sadtrombone.com. In fact, that site is so good we here at All Ball have decided to hand out the Sad Trombone of the Week Award in its honor.

The STOTWA will go to the person or team in the NBA who through on-court ineptitude or off-court shenanigans most deserves to hear the dulcet tones of the sad trombone.

For our inaugural award, the winner is pretty apparent. Sure, the Heat rebounded nicely Wednesday night in Philly, but it’s still hard to shake the image of Miami’s opening quarter of play this season when the BIG THREE (you must use all-caps) managed a whopping nine points against Boston. Nine points in twelve minutes? Reggie almost got that in nine seconds! That’s not exactly what we were promised when this happened.

And so for that, the Miami Heat are hereby awarded the Sad Trombone of the Week. Wah-Wah-Wah-Waaaaah.

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