ALL BALL NERVE CENTER — Here’s the latest spot for NBAStore.com, where you can order all kinds of gear and, if this commercial is correct, team up with your favorite players — such as Brandon Jennings, Chandler Parsons, Carlos Boozer and Andre Iguodala — to create huge mythological figures that apparently make scoring impossible.
ALL BALL NERVE CENTER — If you’re into the NBA’s most devastating dunks, we’ve got you covered over at the new-and-improved Dunk HQ. But because we’re the All Ball blog and we like to look at the NBA from non-traditional angles, we will focus on the flip side of the NBA’s best dunks: What we want to know is, who got got?
So welcome to Volume Two of The All Ball Posterized Poll. We will check in from time to time and examine the worst of the best, and use a highly scientific polling method to determine which NBA player got dunked on (a.k.a. posterized) the most egregiously. And at the end of the season all of our winners will battle it out to determine who it is that most belongs on a poster.
The winner of Volume One was New Orleans’ Jeff Withey, who was placed on a poster by Lakers’ wingman Xavier Henry, his college teammate. (You can see the offending dunk at this post.) Voting at Volume One is now officially closed.
But can anyone top Withey? We have four new nominees. We checked in with NBA.com’s own slam dunk specialist, LeMont Calloway, for his informed perspective on the matter. “What I’ll say most about these defenders is that at least they’re trying to show help-side D,” LeMont notes. “There’s a defender or two around the league who wouldn’t even dare, let alone probably couldn’t even make the proper rotation. (Calling you out Boozer!) But, it’s like Bill Walton used to say: What are big men doing trying to take charges anyway?”
1. Chris Bosh (as nominated by Josh Smith) LeMont’s Take: “It’s got to be fun for Brandon Jennings to play with several front-line bangers on his team. He’s dropped a few passes behind to his big men on fast breaks, and this time it’s J-Smoove’s turn to finish it off.”
2. Al Horford and Paul Millsap (as nominated by Victor Oladipo) LeMont’s take: “Any dunk that can get this kind of response out of announcer Dominique Wilkins, one of the godfathers of the dunk, has to be something special. On his visit to the Hawks, I guess Vic wanted to pay tribute to Atlanta rapper Future. Two at the same time indeed.”
4. Darren Collison (as nominated by Ben McLemore) LeMont’s Take: “This is my pick for the new bunch. You’ve got Big Ben flying with authority and a competent attempt to make a defensive play. Just not enough lift for Collison. The rook’s making me a fan, that’s for sure.”
ALL BALL NERVE CENTER — We have nothing against referees here at the All Ball blog, but for whatever reason this blog has been the home of a few cases of anti-ref basketball activity. Just within the last few weeks, there’s been a spate of bad times. For instance:
Unfortunately, we need to check back in with Kennedy, who got jacked up yesterday during the Grizzlies/Thunder game. While chasing after a loose ball, Grizzlies center Marc Gasol grabbed the rock and accidentally plowed into Kennedy… - -
Say this for Kennedy: He gets knocked down, but he gets up again. You’re never going to keep him down.
Maybe accidentally bopping officials is something limited to Midwest teams, because the Bucks have gotten themselves in the mix after (literally) rising big man Larry Sanders tagged Bill Kennedy in the face last night. Unlike the Boozer-Crawford hit, which took place late in the second quarter, this incident happened during the jump ball (!!!) of the Bobcats-Bucks game from the BMO Harris Bradley Center, as you can see below:
As the Associated Press tells it (and the clip above shows), Kennedy went down to one knee for a couple of minutes, but ended up staying in the game — much like Crawford did on Saturday when he got hit by Boozer.
What do these incidents all mean? Apparently, NBA officials are a group you can’t keep down for very long.
Good thing official Dan Crawford has a sense of humor.
Carlos Boozer’s exuberance at getting a layup to go while being fouled by the Mavericks almost caused a smashing scene Saturday night.
Check out the highlight as the Bulls’ bruising big man fist pumped right into the, um, shall we say, sweet spot of Dan Crawford as he was making the foul call. The crowd gasped, but Crawford shrugged off the inadvertent foul play, merely grinned and play continued. No real harm resulted from the hoop and low blow.
Jon Bois over at SB Nation has compiled the Top 50 sports gifs from 2011, and I can’t recommend highly enough checking out the whole list. But in case you are only interested in the NBA-related entrants, here are five of the best:
Each day until the end of the NBA Finals, we’ll be taking a look at the conventional wisdom of the moment — which team is currently the favorite to win it all, and which team should be ashamed to still be putting on its jerseys.
Here’s how it looks on the morning of Monday, May 23.
Start planning the parade:
We already know the Heat have two unstoppable offensive forces in Dwyane Wade and LeBron James. That’s hard enough to stop as it is. But if Chris Bosh is going to put up 34 points, we might as well just save everyone the time and effort and hand over the ole’ Larry O to Miami right now.
Bosh has gotten a heap of criticism this year, and frankly, he only has himself to blame for a good portion of it. And while the haters will be right back on top of him the next time he throws up a single-digit scoring performance, I imagine he’s going to savor last night for a long time. I know I would.
The SuperFriends are going to win the title folks. This is happening.
Give it up already:
The Bulls can’t score. This is an important note to make, as I’m reasonably sure you need to put more points on the board than your opponent to advance.
Carlos Boozer had a good offensive game last night, and that still didn’t make a dent in the Bulls’ offensive fortunes, as they once again barely cracked the 80-point mark. This team would have killed in 1995.
Job #1 for Chicago this offseason will be to add at least one perimeter scorer into the mix. Or four.
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For all the carnage that LeBron James wreaks on the offensive end — as Kyle Korver can attest — his work on the other end often plays second fiddle. Although he was named to the NBA All-Defensive team for the third time this season, it’s easy to forget how well he works in that facet.
So when Carlos Boozer came barreling down the lane with Dan Gilbert’s best friend coming to challenge, those on the “LeBron Sucks” train prepared their schadenfreude mix, poured it into a sports bottle and toasted, before this happened:
Well then. Not even a Boozer right-arm push-off could prevent ‘Bron from adding to his copious reel. I hope the seats on that aforementioned train is comfortable, patrons. Or at least comfortable enough to last until Game 4 on Tuesday.
The five best rappers in the world are Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, Dylan, and Carlos Boozer
The Chicago Bulls dropped their playoff anthem on the world last night during Game 2* of their Eastern Conference finals series against the Heat, a song called “Winning Streak”, featuring the vocal stylings of Twista, Mario Winans, and, amazingly, Carlos Boozer.
*Can anyone explain why this song premiered last night? In Game 2 of the Conference finals? What if they lost to the Hawks, would the world have never benefited from hearing these dope beats?
Boozer leads things off, and in case you were wondering what kind of hip-hop artist the Booze would make, just know that in a span of a few seconds he rhymed “God” with “hard” and “abuse ya” with “Boozer”. Here, take a listen:
Yowsa. I want to give Carlos a break here, a) because spitting rhymes is not his day job and b) it’s not like the bar has been set particularly high by his NBA brethren.
Also, jeez, Boozer then Twista? That’s like letting your nephew go on and tell “What’s grosser than that?” jokes before Chris Rock takes the stage. This song is pretty terrible, but Twista can guest on my track anytime.
As to whether or not this song cost the Bulls Game 2 last night, that’s not for me to decide. But it couldn’t have helped.
In the final of All Ball’s inaugural Bragging Rights challenge, it’s no surprise to see the dominant college basketball program over the last two decades make it thus far. It is a little surprising to see their competition, traditionally known as a football school — but one that has churned out a sizable number of NBA players over the last decade. Who will win? That’s for you to decide. And if you need a refresher on the Bragging Rights rules, read up on them here. For a view of the entire bracket and how both teams got to the finals, check here. Onto the finale:
Team synopsis: As expected, the Durant-Aldridge combo has proven too much for any opponent thus far. Augustin is having a breakout season in Charlotte, and makes for a solid third option. Ford is somewhat redundant with Augustin on the floor, but his track record is a little better than rookie Damion James. Mo Evans is no star, but he is a capable defender and rebounder who can hit the corner three when needed.