Monday afternoon, the Miami Heat were hosted by President Obama at the White House. It was an honor for, you know, being the best professional basketball team in the world last year. In return, it was an honor to be in the company of Dwyane Wade’s outfit — especially his shoes. President Obama even said so himself in good humor … I mean, how could he help himself.
Believe this:
“White House look…” — Dwyane Wade
Person not as on point as Dwyane Wade (PNAOPADWade): “What are you wearing to the White House?”
DWade: “You mean, besides a grey suit?”
PNAOPADWade: “Yeah.”
DWade: “Oh, just a classic pair of gangster wingtips that had a threesome with a pair of skateboard shoes and bowling shoes in a five-toned room made of gloss and suede.”
PNAOPADWade: “Ha ha. Oh yeah?”
DWade: (Pulling out kicks) “YYYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!”
You may have noticed it’s the offseason, which means we have plenty of time to sit around and think about many of the things that make it fun to be an NBA fan. Here at All Ball, we’ll be passing the time until the start of the season with a new series, the Fave Five. Each week we’ll count down a list of the five best, or worst … somethings. We’ll try to get creative with it. Plus we’re taking requests! If you have a suggestion for a Fave Five post, give us a shout and you may see it appear in this space over the next several weeks.
Who is going to win the Super Bowl this year? The World Series? Your guess is as good as mine. In the NFL and MLB, who wins from year to year is totally unpredictable. In football it’s about who is lucky and who is healthy; in baseball it’s who is lucky and who gets great pitching.
The NBA is different. There are very, very few Cinderella stories in professional basketball. For my money, the 2011 Mavericks and the 2004 Pistons are the only surprise champions I’ve seen in the NBA in my lifetime.
The best teams almost always prevail. Which is why when we think of the teams who have come up short since the start of the 2000s, the answers are pretty obvious.
Let’s take a look:
5. 2011 San Antonio Spurs
What happened: The Spurs got off to a ridiculous start to the season (they were 29-4 at one point), and for a while there was talk that they might flirt with 70 wins. They cooled a bit down the stretch, but still finished the regular season as the top seed in the Western Conference with a record of 61-21.
The draw in the West looked pretty good, as they faced the Memphis Grizzlies in the first round. Talk about a mismatch – the Spurs, four-time NBA champions, versus the Grizz, who to that point had not won a single playoff game in franchise history in three previous appearances. So naturally they advanced to face HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
Memphis shocked San Antonio in six games, and the Spurs went home as only the fourth No. 1 seed to ever lose to a No. 8 seed*.
* The Bulls became the fifth this past season, but methinks that might have turned out differently had Derrick Rose been healthy.
Why they disappointed: I’ll be honest. I don’t really think of this Spurs team as being all that much of a disappointment. Some of that is due to the fact that the Grizzlies turned out to be a pretty good team, and some (maybe a lot) is due to the fact that Manu Ginobili hurt his elbow the final game of the season and was severely limited in the series. Still, 1 seeds don’t lose to 8 seeds, so here they are.
Fresh off a title, LeBron James paid a visit to The Late Show with David Letterman last night, and of course the Midwestern-raised Letterman couldn’t resist tweaking LeBron about bolting Cleveland to win the championship in Miami. LBJ handled the questions in good humor (not that that will appease Cleveland fans, but it’s true) and generally came off pretty well. I guess it’s easy to be in a good mood when you’ve just lifted a thousand-pound monkey off your back, and you know, are the champion of the world and all.
I didn’t realize this was James’ fifth appearance on Letterman — I wonder where that ranks among active professional athletes?
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By winning his first NBA championship, LeBron James has shut a lot of mouths talking a lot of noise (mine included). Monday night on Jimmy Kimmel Live, some of James’ harshest critics had to face the media and discuss what happened and how they plan to deal with the new reality:
Haters gonna keep hatin’, I suppose.
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Everyone who gets hitched hopes to have a wedding weekend that will provide lasting memories for the rest of their lives. For most people, that means sitting through embarrassing toasts and stuffing cake in each other’s mouths. For others, that means snapping a quick pic with the newly-crowned King of the NBA LeBron James.
The NBA champion of all of two days happened to be meeting a Sports Illustrated reporter at the Ritz Carlton Coconut Grove just before Kolnick tied the knot on the property, and the Miami native and new husband Shaun were able to snag the pre-wedding snap of a lifetime — never mind that eager onlookers uploaded cell phone photos of the bride to Facebook before she’d even walked down the aisle.
I love that this took place before their wedding began. Having been to many a wedding myself (including my own), all I can think about with this story is how angry the wedding planner must have been at the disruption to the meticulously-crafted wedding plan. BRIDESMAIDS MUST WALK DOWN THE AISLE AT 6 P.M. SHARP! GET THIS TALL MAN OUT OF THE WAY!
I wanted to hate this couple at first, then I read further into the story and found out they met at the University of Texas, so we’re all good. Congrats Shaun and Jamie!
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What a shortened, yet still very long, strange trip it’s been. In a season that felt like we inhaled on Christmas Day, only to exhale roughly two hours ago, I’m already counting down the days until we start this whole thing over again in November.
But before we start dreaming of a fresh start, let’s pause for a few moments to remember some of the fun and funny we had over the course of the 2012 NBA Playoffs, which started somewhat slowly but picked up speed to the thrilling conclusion that was the Finals series between the victorious Heat and vanquished Thunder.
Here’s a look back at the 10 most amusing moments from the last seven weeks:
10. Amar’e channels Andy Bernard
The Knicks had a lot of hype at one point in the NBA season, but it all began to fall apart starting with a rash of injuries to the likes of Jeremy Lin and ImanShumpert. At least their injuries occurred on the court though. Amar’e Stoudemire made headlines when he punched a fire-extinguisher case after Game 2 of the Knicks’ first-round series against the Heat, causing a huge laceration and forcing the Knicks’ big man to miss the next game of an eventual 4-1 series defeat.
9. Spurs fan gets Matt Bonner haircut, gets suspended
In case you forgot, a Spurs fan got this shaved into the back of his head:
For doing so, he got suspended from school, which seems bad, until the Internet found out about it and the Spurs ended up invited him to a playoff game. Miss school AND see playoff basketball? BEST WEEK EVA! By the way, a month later, the kid did it again.
The postgame presser outfits and accoutrements have become as big a part of this postseason as the games themselves. And after Tuesday’s Game 4, I think we’ve reached the pinnacle, as Dwyane Wade finally paid homage to the man he is so often confused with by people who don’t follow basketball very closely but have a tremendous soft spot for late 80′s NBC comedies.
How pervasive is D-Wade in today’s culture? It took me like five tries to remember to spell Dwayne Wayne without putting the y directly after the w.
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LeBron James has been playing inspiring basketball this entire postseason. Literally, the man is inspiring people, like BYU student Joel Zae, who spent his Saturday creating a LeBron sculpture made entirely from balloons. LeBalloon James, if you will. Check it out:
Pretty impressive stuff Joel. Just remember after Thursday, you may have to make a tweak for some jewelry on one of his fingers.
LeBron James may be well on his way to silencing many of his critics with a championship ring (certainly his play to this point has provided little ammo), but that doesn’t mean people aren’t still enjoying a laugh or two at his expense. Like the good people at Jest.com, for example, who “found” this video of LeBron from his playground days:
Pretty well executed, and a nice inclusion of the “Good job, good effort” kid to boot. Well done, Jest.
If there has been an unsung star for the Heat in these playoffs (if anyone on the Heat can be called unsung), it would have to be Shane Battier, who has been absolutely lights-out from 3-point range the past few weeks and provided exactly the kind of offensive support so crucial to Miami’s Big Three at this late stage.
He joined the GameTime crew of Matt Winer, Charles Barkley, and Shaquille O’Neal after Sunday’s big Game 3 win for the Heat, and after getting the particulars out of the way early on Shaq and Chuck only wanted to know one thing (around the 4:20 mark). What’s up with the purple pants, Shane?
Gotta give the guy credit for having the confidence required to wear those pants, but shooting 73% from distance in The Finals probably goes a long way in providing it.
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Catch up on every single game-winning buzzer beater during the season and see how it rates on the Horry Scale.
